My Neurospicy Brain
An exploration of the terrifying reality that we’re all just ghosts running around in glitchy meat computers
I mean. It’s wild we even exist, right? And that we’re sometimes able to engage in goal directed action?? That occasionally we feel pleasure, or companionship, or contentment? I don’t know. Sounds like bullshit to me.
Brains are so weird. So much so that I don’t think a “typical” brain exists. We’re all divergent, in ways so complex and wonderful that we’ll never really understand even ourselves, much less each other. So fuck it: my brain is neurospicy, so is yours, and I’m gonna rant about it.
My Particular Brand of Bullshit
This blog etc. is part of my effort to understand the brain I live in, and how to work with and around its matted tangle of quirks. To very briefly summarize, I have a lot of challenges around motivation, attention, and focus. I also struggle with self esteem, depressed mood, social integration, and generally feeling safe.
The big one though, is that I’m not just me! I have structural personality dissociation, which is to say that inside my one brain, there are distinct, persistent personalities, each of whom have their own self-image, preferences, motivations, and indeed, their own neurospicy bullshit to deal with!
In terms of diagnosis, I’m talking about ADHD, Depression, and Dissociative Identity Disorder. But my thesis here is that my subjective experience, and the ways that I manage these challenges are an inextricably tangled bowl of neurospicy noodles, and that understanding and coping strategies will be found all across the mental health landscape.